They Also Serve
by Vol lady
Summary: Several of the TV episodes centered on two brothers going off somewhere to rescue the third (or one rescuing the other two). Those stories followed the brothers, but did not pay much attention to the women left at home. This story follows Victoria and Audra as they wait for Nick and Heath to stop Jarrod from killing Cass Hyatt.
1. Chapter 1

They Also Serve

 _They also serve who only stand and wait._ John Milton

Spring 1878

Chapter 1

(Italics below indicate matter from the TV episode)

 _Victoria heard a door close, then footsteps, and she knew something terrible was about to happen. From everything that had happened over the last few days – especially today – she knew._

 _She hurried out of her room and found Jarrod heading down the stairs. He was dressed in casual clothes and his coat, wearing his sidearm, and carrying his bedroll and saddlebags. She panicked._

 _"Where are you going, Jarrod?" she said._

 _He continued down the stairs with her after him. "After Hyatt," he said._

 _"But you don't know where he is!" Panic growing._

 _"I'll find him."_

 _Victoria almost had to run to keep up with him, only able to get her hand on his back, nothing more. "Jarrod, if Cass Hyatt did kill Beth – "_

 _"He killed her," Jarrod cut her off and headed for the library._

 _Victoria couldn't keep up with him. She tried to get closer to him. "All right, say he did and you kill him, then what?"_

 _Jarrod threw his bedroll and saddlebags onto the pool table and went straight to the gun rack. "I'll turn myself into the nearest lawman."_

 _"And ruin your life!"_

 _Jarrod took down a rifle. He turned on her fast. "All the life I had went into that grave this morning."_

 _"That's not true! You think it is, you believe it but it is not true!"_

 _Jarrod went back to the pool table with the rifle and a box of shells, and he began to load the rifle._

 _"Oh, Jarrod, I know the emptiness you must be feeling, but killing Cass Hyatt is not going to fill that emptiness! It will still be there!"_

 _"There's no use talking about it." Jarrod kept loading the rifle._

 _Panic rising higher, faster. She pounded the pool table. "There HAS to be! Somehow I have to make you understand that you're throwing away everything you ever stood for, as a man and as a lawyer! The things Beth loved you for and married you for!"_

 _"Let me handle this," Nick's voice came from the doorway._

 _Jarrod took a moment to look up at him but then went back to loading the rifle._

 _"You go on upstairs, Mother," Nick said. "Please."_

Victoria headed for the door. Nick put a hand on her shoulder as she passed him and continued on, back upstairs to her room, as Nick had asked.

And then the panic began to roll over her uncontrollably. She knew her firstborn. She knew there was no way to change his mind about going after Hyatt. Nick was going to have to hurt him, punch him out completely, to keep him in this house, but then as soon as he woke up he'd try to leave again. Of all her sons, Jarrod was the most relentless when he was determined to do something. Stopping him was nearly impossible. He would keep at it and keep at it and never stop.

Victoria paced but only for a few minutes, and then she was back out the door, heading downstairs. She met Heath in the hall. He was pulling his shirt on. "I heard the racket and when I checked nobody was up here – what's going on?" he asked.

Victoria was bordering on frantic. "It's Jarrod! He's going after Hyatt and nothing I could say would stop him!"

They ran down the stairs. "Where's Nick?" Heath asked.

"They're in the library," Victoria said. "Nick's trying to stop him."

They hurried to the library together – and found Nick laid flat out on his back on the floor. Jarrod was gone.

Heath bent beside Nick. "Nick? Nick?"

"Oh, my God," Victoria said.

"How long ago did you leave them down here?" Heath asked.

"Only a few minutes."

Heath stood up and headed out the door Jarrod had left open. "See if you can wake him up," Heath said. "I'll try to stop Jarrod."

As Heath went out the door, Victoria went for the pitcher of water on the refreshment table. As she did, Silas came in. "Mrs. Barkley! What's happening?" he asked, pulling on his jacket.

"Silas, get a clean cloth!" Victoria said as she poured water into a glass.

Silas saw Nick on the floor and pulled a clean handkerchief out of his pocket. He handed it to Victoria, who immediately put it in the glass of water, then bent and bathed Nick's face, trying to bring him around.

"What else can I do?" Silas asked.

"Get some provisions together for Nick and Heath, enough for four days. Hurry, please, Silas!"

Silas left for the kitchen right away.

Heath came back in. "I couldn't catch him. He's already gone." He bent beside Nick and his mother. "We gotta bring Nick around before I go after him."

"Please, both of you go after him," Victoria said.

"That'll delay me more, Mother, waiting for Nick to get his senses back."

Victoria looked at Heath with tears streaming down her face. "You didn't see him, Heath. You didn't see Jarrod. He's going to kill Hyatt, and I'm afraid he's going to kill anyone who stands in his way. If you go after him alone, he could kill you."

"Come on now, Mother. You know Jarrod won't hurt me."

"No? Look at what he's done to Nick!"

Heath put his hand on her hand as she tried to bathe Nick's face to bring him around. "I got Ciego saddling my horse. I'll go see he saddles Nick's, too. Can you ask Silas to get some food together for us?"

"He already is."

"All right. I'll go see Ciego. If Nick's not hurt too bad, maybe he'll be awake by the time I get back. I'll get our guns and ammunition together while he wakes up, and we'll head to Stockton. Jarrod has to go there first and he'll have to ask around for information. Maybe we'll get lucky and catch him there." Then he stood up again and saying, "You look after Nick," he went back outside again.

Victoria continued to bathe Nick's face with the cool cloth, but Heath was coming back through the door before Nick started to stir.

"Oh, damn – " Nick moaned before he even opened his eyes, but then suddenly his eyes flew open. He remembered what had happened.

"Don't get up too quickly," Victoria said.

Nick let his mother and brother help him sit up. "He slugged me before I even had a chance to see it coming," Nick moaned.

"I'm getting the horses saddled and Silas is putting some food together for us," Heath said. "You think you can get up yet?"

Nick stood, wobbly, his mother and brother flanking him to keep him upright. Nick gave his mother a light hug and a kiss on her forehead. "Don't you worry. I'll be awake in a minute. How big a headstart does he have on us?"

"Fifteen, twenty minutes," Victoria said. Her voice was catching.

Nick kissed her again and added a slight smile. "Don't worry, Mother. We'll find him before he does any damage. Heath, would you get our guns? I'll load a couple rifles."

Heath left the room as Nick leaned on the pool table to get to the gun rack. Victoria kept at least one hand on him. "Go see Sheriff Madden first, Nick," she said.

Nick nodded as he brought two rifles and a box of shells to the pool table. "If Fred sees him, Fred will stop him."

"But Jarrod will be avoiding Fred," Victoria said. "If Fred knows where he is, it'll be because someone else told him."

"Well, our Jarrod can be wily, but I can match him," Nick said. He leaned over and kissed his mother again. "Try not to worry, Mother. If we have to go beyond Stockton, I'll have somebody bring word back."

Victoria nodded, but she was worried. She was beyond worried. Nick held her close.

Victoria said. "Find him, Nick. Please find him."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It took another ten minutes before Nick and Heath could take off for Stockton. For Victoria those ten minutes seemed like ten hours. But she finally watched them go, and as the sounds of their horses faded into the distance, she was left with the darkness and silence of her house. It was terrifying.

Silas was beside her. "Mrs. Barkley, can I get you some tea? It might help you calm down."

Victoria shook her head, closing the front door and turning. "No, thank you, Silas. I'm not going to be getting any sleep tonight."

She headed into the living room and sat down on the settee. Silas followed her. "Maybe some warm milk?" he asked.

Victoria looked up at him and realized he was as terrified as she was. He was asking because he had to do something to try to settle his own nerves. Helping her - and some warm milk - would be good for him.

He could tell she was reading his mind. "I'm gonna make some for myself," he said.

It made Victoria smile a little. "I'll come into the kitchen and share it with you there."

They went into the kitchen together. Victoria sat down at the table there while Silas stoked the stove back to life and put some milk on to heat up. Victoria couldn't help but cover her face with both hands. So many horrible scenarios were flying through her brain.

"You got to have faith, Mrs. Barkley," Silas said when he put the cup of warm milk in front of her. "They'll find Mr. Jarrod before he gets into too much trouble."

As Silas sat down with her, Victoria said, "Do you remember when he was about fifteen? A boy at school was taunting Nick, and Nick was still too small to really defend himself against that boy."

"I remember," Silas said, staring into his cup.

"Jarrod nearly beat that boy to a pulp."

Silas looked up and smiled. "Mr. Nick pulled him off. Little as he was, he found the strength. Now he's bigger and stronger. He'll save his older brother from himself. He's already had practice."

Victoria had to smile back at him over that last comment, at least for a moment.

They sat together in silence for a long time, longer than either one of them was paying attention to. Then suddenly there was a loud banging on the front door. They both went running to it.

Victoria got there first and opened the door to Sheriff Madden. He took his hat off. "Fred, come in," Victoria said. Then she got a look at his face and slumped. "Nick and Heath didn't catch up with Jarrod, did they?"

"No," the sheriff said. "They got to me after Chad from the depot said Jarrod had taken off for Fryes Junction. Jarrod wheedled the truth out of him."

Victoria went white. "Jarrod didn't hurt him – "

"No, no," Sheriff Madden said. "Just scared him half to death – you know how timid Chad can be. Nick and Heath wanted me to let you know they were going after Jarrod."

Then the sheriff just stood there like he thought he ought to be saying something else, but there was nothing else he could say. Victoria sighed and the sheriff did not want to leave. He knew this woman needed his help.

"Victoria," he said, "you know, it hasn't been that long that Jarrod's been recovered from the shooting by the Dunigans. I think it's pretty possible he won't have the stamina to get very far."

Victoria shook her head and led the way into the living room. "He's fully recovered, Fred. His grief is driving him. He'll get wherever he wants to go."

Silas and Sheriff Madden exchanged looks. "Can I get you anything, Sheriff?" Silas asked.

The sheriff sighed and shook his head. "I expect Mrs. Barkley might need some brandy, though."

Victoria sat down on the settee, and the sheriff sat beside her, taking her hand, trying to console her. "No, I don't think so," she said.

"I'll just go clean up those dishes in the kitchen then," Silas said and left the room.

Victoria and the sheriff sat in silence for several long seconds before Victoria shook her head. "Fred, Jarrod was a dozen times angrier than he was when you were here this afternoon. There was no settling him down."

"Nick told me Jarrod had slugged him and slipped out of the house," Sheriff Madden said. "I offered to go with him and Heath, but Nick didn't think it would help."

"It probably wouldn't have," Victoria said, "and you're needed in town."

"I asked them to wire me sometime tomorrow, let me know where they were and if they'd found Jarrod. I'm gonna wire ahead to the sheriff at Rock Point, near Fryes Junction, and if he or Nick and Heath don't find him there, I'll keep wiring ahead to where he might go. But I'll bet Nick and Heath find him fast enough."

"They won't find him soon," Victoria said, shaking her head again. "He has a good headstart on them, and I know him. He'll ride all night, even if it's not safe. You know how he is."

"Yeah," Sheriff Madden said. "As relentless out of court as he is in. Victoria, I'm so sorry I couldn't keep Hyatt locked up."

"I know," Victoria said. "None of this is your fault. It was Hyatt's fault, and now it's Jarrod's. Whatever happens now is his responsibility."

"It's possible he might never catch up to Hyatt."

Victoria sighed. "He won't give up until he does. And if he does, and he kills Hyatt – " She sighed again, deeper, and tears started leaking out. "It's possible I may never see him again."

The sheriff squeezed her hand tighter. "Don't go thinking like that, Victoria. Nick and Heath will catch up to him, probably tomorrow or the day after. They'll stop him before he does anything he'll regret."

"Even if they do, Fred, this is something he'll take the rest of his life to get over. I know my first born. He doesn't give his love easily, and he did love Beth, with all his heart. For the first time he was thinking about a family of his own, and children – and she was a lovely girl – and – "

Victoria broke down, and the sheriff put his arm around her. He didn't know what to do other than let her cry.

Silas came back in a few minutes later. Sheriff Madden looked up at him, noting that he looked as worried as the sheriff had ever seen him. Sheriff Madden said, "Victoria, I have to be getting back to town. Silas will take good care of you, and I'll be back just as soon as I get that telegram from Nick and Heath."

Victoria wiped her eyes and stood up with the sheriff. "Thank you, Fred, I appreciate that."

She and Silas both walked the sheriff to the door. Sheriff Madden took Victoria's hand and squeezed it one more time before leaving, and Victoria then closed the door after him. Then she stood there for long seconds.

"Mrs. Barkley," Silas said, "maybe you best go to bed and try to get a little bit of sleep."

Victoria turned around, nodding. "You're right, Silas. You go on to bed as well. I'll let you know if I need you."

Silas smiled. "Good night, Mrs. Barkley. I'll see you have a good breakfast in the morning."

Victoria gave him a smile and headed upstairs. She was walking so slowly that Silas felt the need to linger behind and make sure she made it to her room. When he finally heard her door close, he put the lights out in the living room and foyer and went to his room to get some sleep.

XXXXXXXX

Victoria jumped awake with the face of her enraged eldest son leering at her. It was still dark and she nearly screamed, but the bit of light coming in from outside was enough for her to see by. She realized she was in her own bed. She remembered what had happened. She remembered that she hadn't even put her night clothes on, just lay down on the bed as soon as she came into the room. And she had fallen asleep so fast she hadn't realized it.

She got up and looked out of the window. Just a little bit of sunlight was coming alive in the eastern sky. She circled the room twice, wondering whether to go back to bed. Instead, she visited the water closet, washed her face and went back downstairs. She did not bother with any make-up today.

Silas was already up and had lamps lit in the foyer. Victoria could smell ham cooking in the kitchen. Thank heaven for Silas. How could anyone been as devoted as to stay up after she went to bed and be up before her, ready to take care of whatever she needed? Victoria went into the kitchen.

At the stove, Silas turned when he heard her come in, and he smiled. "Good morning, Mrs. Barkley. I hope you did get some sleep."

"Some, Silas, yes," Victoria said. Wearily, she sat down at the kitchen table, where Beth had sat down to help her cook only days ago. "Silas, why don't we just eat together here this morning? I don't think I can face that big dining room alone."

"Of course, Mrs. Barkley," Silas said. "Coffee's ready, would you like some?"

"Yes, please."

Silas fetched a cup from the cabinet and poured a cup. "Here you are," he said as he put it down in front of her. "The ham is just about ready, too. Will you have some eggs?"

"Just one," Victoria said.

"Comin' right up," Silas said.

In only five minutes, he had a plate of ham, eggs and bread in front of her, but he wondered if she was going to eat any of it. He poured some coffee for himself and sat down with a plate of food to go with it.

Silas watched as Victoria picked at her food, but at least she was eating some of it. Silas ate his more quickly so he would be ready to do whatever Victoria needed.

The sun came up and peeked through the kitchen windows. Victoria said quietly, "It looks like it will be a beautiful day."

"A good day to spend in the garden," Silas said. "Why don't you take a cup of coffee out there and enjoy the mornin' air?"

Victoria smiled, thinking it was a good idea as well, even though her mind would always be on her sons, all three of them. She prayed they were already together, somewhere, and that Sheriff Madden would be coming by soon with that telegram he was expecting. Buoyed a little by that hope, she finished her food and said, "I'll pour myself that coffee and go out to the garden for a while."

"I'll take care of things in here," Silas said. "You just relax a bit more out there."

In a little while, Victoria walked out of the kitchen door, carrying her cup of coffee, facing the morning sun in her garden.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The air was fresh and new and full of early spring crispness, which is exactly what Victoria needed to restore her courage and her faith. Somewhere two of her younger sons were chasing her oldest. They would find him, before he would fall victim to his own blind relentlessness. They would find him before he hurt anyone. They would find him before he killed Cass Hyatt.

She told herself these things over and over again while she breathed as deeply and evenly as she could to keep herself calm. When they came home, they would need her. Jarrod wasn't the only one who whose wellbeing was at stake. What was happening out there was going to change all of them, forever. Victoria knew she needed to be ready for that.

Her coffee cup ran empty after half an hour or so, but she stayed in the garden for a long time. When she finally looked up, Silas was beside her with the coffee pot. "Another cup, Mrs. Barkley?"

Victoria smiled and held her cup out. "Yes, Silas, thank you," she said. "You had the right idea. Being out here has been very good for my soul."

"You always do come in from the garden refreshed, Mrs. Barkley. What else can I get for you?"

"Nothing for me, but will you change the linens on all the boys' beds? When they get back, they're going to be exhausted and will probably fall right into bed."

"Yes, ma'am, I'll see to it, and do the same for your room and Miss Audra's. You're both gonna want that, too."

"Thank you, Silas," Victoria said as Silas went back into the house.

It was only a few moments later that Ciego came up from the stable yard, his hat in his hand. "Buenos dias, Senora Barkley," he said, moving carefully and quietly.

"Good morning, Ciego," Victoria said.

Ciego stumbled on his words. "Senora Barkley, I just wanted you to know that your horse is rested and ready if you decide you want to take a ride today. And Senorita Audra's horse is also rested and ready."

Victoria finally remembered that Audra was due in today on the train from Philadelphia. "Oh, Ciego, did I ask you pick up Audra from the train this afternoon?"

"No, Senora, but with all your sons away, I thought you would want me to, so I will complete my regular work in time to leave to get her."

"Thank you, Ciego, and will you go early enough to ask Sheriff Madden to talk to her as soon as she arrives? I don't know if she got the wire we sent to her in Kansas City to let her know – " She stopped on the words. It was almost to difficult to say. "To let her know what happened to Beth," she finally got out.

"Si, Senora, I will do that," Ciego said. "Is there anything more I can do for you?"

Victoria suddenly saw Sheriff Madden riding in. "Oh, never mind about talking to the sheriff. Here he comes!"

Victoria got up, leaving her coffee on the bench, and went down into the stable yard with Ciego. Sheriff Madden was dismounting there. Victoria's heart fell. He did not look happy.

"Good morning, Victoria," he said, tipping his hat.

"Good morning, Fred," Victoria said. "Have you heard from Nick and Heath?"

"Yes," he said. "They wired me from just south of Lathrop. I'm afraid they haven't caught up with Jarrod yet. They're continuing south toward Fryes Junction and expect to be there in a couple days, if they don't find Jarrod first."

Victoria sighed. Despite all her optimism and strength an hour ago, she was devastated now, even though deep down she always knew Jarrod would not be caught easily.

Sheriff Madden touched her arm. "They'll find him, Victoria. They know where he's headed, and they'll find him."

Victoria nodded. "I know. It's just – I wish it had been today."

"It still could be. Don't give up yet."

"Would you join me in the garden for a few minutes? I'd like to talk to you."

"Of course."

The sheriff followed Victoria back up to the bench in the garden. Victoria picked up her coffee cup and sat down, the sheriff sitting beside her. Before Victoria could even ask, Silas was there with another cup of coffee. "Would you like some coffee, Sheriff?" he asked.

Sheriff Madden took the cup. "Thank you, Silas."

Silas smiled and bowed slightly before he went back into the house.

"The man always thinks ahead of us, doesn't he?" Sheriff Madden asked.

Victoria said, "Yes. He knows us too well."

"How are you holding up, Victoria? I know this is eating you up."

Victoria appreciated his speaking up. "I'm so afraid I can't even admit it to myself," she said, her voice closing on the words.

The sheriff put his arm around her. "You've been through plenty of hard times before with your family, Victoria. Your sons have made mistakes before and found their way back around."

Victoria shook her head. "This is different. None of my sons has ever turned into a murderer before."

"Jarrod's not a murderer," the sheriff said quickly. "He won't be a murderer. He's not that kind of man."

"That's the trouble. I don't know what kind of man he is right now. I only know he's lost and we weren't able to reach him to keep him from going after Hyatt. I don't know who he is or who will come back, if he comes back."

"He'll be back, and if he isn't the same as he was before this happened, he'll be a better man for having faced this and handled it. He will handle it in the end, Victoria. Whatever happens to him out there, he will handle it in the end. You have to have faith in the son you raised."

Victoria looked at the sheriff and nodded slightly. "Fred, Audra's due in on the afternoon train. Ciego will come to get her, but will you be there to greet her and tell her what's happened? I just don't have the strength for it right now."

The sheriff nodded. "I'll talk to her. You know, she's quite a woman herself now. She's strong enough to help you through this."

"I know she is," Victoria said. And then she heaved a big sigh. "Would you do one more thing for me?"

"Of course."

"Would you stop by the church and tell Father David what's been happening? Ask him to say a prayer for us."

The sheriff smiled. "I already did that yesterday, but I'll stop by and ask him again."

"Thank you, Fred. You're a dear friend. Maybe, with some luck, you'll get another telegram today saying Nick and Heath have found their brother."

The sheriff smiled. "Maybe. Keep your faith up, Victoria. Everything will be all right in the end."

Victoria nodded. "By the grace of God."

XXXXXXX

Victoria was napping in the afternoon when something woke her up. She listened – it was the sound of a buggy coming in. She got up and looked at the window to see Ciego arriving with Audra.

Her heart jumped up inside her. Audra had been touring the east for a month. Victoria was never happier to see her come home. She hurried downstairs and found her coming in the front door.

"Mother!" Audra cried, without a smile.

Victoria ran to her and embraced her. "Darling, I'm so glad you're home."

"I'm glad I'm home too," Audra said. "The sheriff told me everything that happened. Oh, Mother, I just don't know what to say."

"I know. I don't either. Where are your bags?"

"I had too many for the buggy. They're holding them at the depot and Ciego is getting one of the hands to go get them."

Victoria guided her daughter into the living room, where they sat down together. "You must be exhausted," Victoria said.

"Not really," Audra said. "I'm too upset. The sheriff told me everything, but I just couldn't believe it."

"It's true. Jarrod's gone after Hyatt to kill him, and his brothers are trying to find him before he does."

"Jarrod's not a killer."

"I don't know, Audra. You didn't see him. You didn't see how joyous he was to be married to that beautiful girl and how devastated he was when she was killed. He changed. He changed in the blink of an eye."

"Not deep down. Deep down, he's still our Jarrod."

Victoria sighed. "I'm not so sure. I'm just not so sure."

"Mother," Audra said, took her mother by the arms and looked straight into her eyes. "Jarrod will not kill a man in cold blood, not even a man who killed his wife. It's just not in him."

Victoria's eyes filled with tears. "I'm not so sure," she said again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next morning found Victoria back in the garden again, this time with Audra beside her. They didn't talk a lot. They mainly watched for Sheriff Madden to come with any news from Nick and Heath, but now and then, Audra spoke up.

"Do you remember when Nick and Heath were thrown into that prison and abused so badly, and Jarrod got them out?" Audra asked.

"Oh, I don't want to remember that," Victoria said.

"It made you feel kind of the way Jarrod feels now, didn't it?"

Victoria was surprised Audra was bringing that horrible time up now, but in just a moment it made sense. "You're right. I did want to have at that – Ridgely or Rissley or whatever his name was – for what he did to Nick and Heath. I did want to kill him. But of course, I'm a woman. I couldn't do that, and I suppose I knew that, which made me want to do it even more but kept me from even trying."

"I guess, when you think about it, you can understand what's happening to Jarrod better."

Victoria did think about it. "Perhaps, but – I know I wouldn't have done it, even if I were a man. And Jarrod didn't do it. He worked within the law to get them free."

Audra considered what she was about to say next, but then said it. "Did Jarrod ever tell you how much he wanted to kill that prison warden the night he rescued Nick and Heath?"

Victoria looked over, startled. "No."

"He told me about it," Audra said, staring at her hands. "He was serious, too, and now I wonder – maybe I should have told you and Nick and Heath about it. Maybe you could have stopped him this time."

"Oh, no Audra, don't feel guilty that you didn't tell us, especially if Jarrod told you in confidence," Victoria said. "There was nothing any of us could do to keep him from going after Hyatt. Nick tried - he couldn't stop him. Even if we had known what he told you, we couldn't have stopped him."

Audra looked at her mother. "Then don't you feel guilty, either, Mother."

Victoria felt suddenly exposed. Audra was right. Victoria had to admit it to herself, she was feeling guilty that Jarrod got away from them to go after Hyatt. But – "How did you know I felt guilty?"

"You've seemed a bit – paralyzed," Audra said. "You seem to want to just sit here in the garden or in the house, like you can't move."

"I keep hoping they'll come riding back in."

"I know, but it seems to be more than that. You just need to realize that it's not your fault that Jarrod went after Hyatt."

Victoria sighed. "I suppose, when something like this happens to your son, you not only wonder what you did wrong the night he left. You wonder what you did wrong all the years you were raising him."

"Oh, Mother, you raised Jarrod to be a wonderful man!" Audra cut her off. "He's compassionate and decent and he fights for the law."

"Except this time," Victoria said. "This time it's all turned upside down."

"But not because of anything you did or failed to do."

"Perhaps but I'm not sure, Audra. Maybe the man he is right now IS the man I raised, just the other side of all the fine qualities I raised him to have. Maybe all my sons have that other side."

"Maybe they do," Audra said, "but they were also raised to learn, and to learn from each other. When they bring Jarrod home, they'll start to think about that. Jarrod will learn from his mistake, but so will Nick and Heath. It will be all right. Over time, they'll be better men for this."

Victoria sighed. "I wish that thought made it worth this wait, but Audra – I'm not sure Jarrod will come back or learn from his mistake this time. I'm just not sure."

They sat together for a long time in silence then, until they heard a horse riding in and saw Sheriff Madden. They got up as he came toward them.

"Have you heard something?" Victoria asked.

Sheriff Madden nodded. "I got a wire from Nick and Heath. They're near Turlock. They found out Jarrod was there and kept going south. They're still following him."

Victoria sighed. "How could he have gotten so far ahead of them that they haven't found him yet?"

"I don't know," the sheriff said, "but I'll lay odds that like you said, Jarrod is riding all night and Nick and Heath know they have to stop. I hate to say this, but I hope Jarrod rides his horse so bad it drops. That could be the best thing for Jarrod right now."

"Are you still wiring the sheriffs of the towns in the direction Jarrod is going?"

"Yes," the sheriff said. "So far, it hasn't helped. I can't be sure I'm hitting the right towns, and you know Jarrod is avoiding the law."

"But we're grateful you're trying," Audra said quickly.

"I'll keep trying," the sheriff said, "and the minute I know anything, I'll let you know."

The women both nodded, and then there was nothing to say. The sheriff took hold of Victoria's hand and squeezed. She nodded her thanks, and the sheriff left.

Audra put an arm around her mother and said, "Mother, why don't you and I go for a ride? We need to keep our wits about us for when they come home, and a good ride will be refreshing."

Victoria nodded again. "You're probably right, dear. Let's go."

XXXXX

Audra was not surprised that the first place her mother wanted to ride was the tiny cemetery in the wood where her father and now her sister-in-law now lay together. Audra had to admit that she was more startled to see the graves than her mother was. She found herself drawn more to her sister-in-law's grave than to her father's.

 _Elizabeth Randall Barkley_

 _1848-1878_

 _Beloved Wife of Jarrod Thomas Barkley_

It was hard to look at, not because Audra felt any grief for the woman, but because she didn't. She had never met her, yet here she lay in an honored place beside Tom Barkley, her stone telling the world that Jarrod had loved her. How could it be that Jarrod had loved her, and Audra had never even met her? How could all of this have happened so fast?

Victoria seemed to be reading her daughter's mind. "She was a lovely young woman," Victoria said. "So much in love with Jarrod it seemed to burst out of her like the sun, and he – " Victoria's voice caught. "He was so much in love with her he couldn't see anyone or anything else in the world."

Audra put her arm around her mother. "What was she like?"

"Oh – a little taller than I am, auburn hair, blue eyes. Very smart, as you can imagine. She was a school teacher. She and Jarrod were just so new to each other. She wanted to learn everything about him, how to cook his favorite foods, whether she should ask to watch him in court – she wanted to know about Cass Hyatt, and I didn't know what to tell her. And then it was too late."

Audra squeezed her mother's shoulders again. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"It all happened so fast, you didn't have the time to get here. I think that may be part of the reason Jarrod has – " Victoria stopped, not knowing how to finish the sentence. "All the possibilities before them, all the happiness yet to come – and suddenly, it would never come. I think it all happened so fast that Jarrod spun out of control before anyone could catch him."

Audra raised her face to catch a fresh breeze that was just coasting by. "Almost insulting, isn't it?" Audra said. "How the world keeps on going, the sun keeps shining, the cool air keeps drifting by when it's impossible to understand how it can. How can the world keep being beautiful when things that have happened to us are so dreadful?"

They stayed a little longer, in silence, before they decided to mount up and keep riding.

XXXXX

Audra was right. The ride was refreshing and even cathartic, but Victoria was jolted back to reality when they arrived back at the house. Something inside her had hoped there would be another wire from Nick and Heath waiting, saying they'd found Jarrod and were bringing him home, but there was nothing.

Dinner was in virtual silence, and afterward Audra simply read a book and Victoria tried to. Every little sound outside made them look up, but no one ever came to the door.

The next day was like the day before, quiet time together in the garden until the sheriff came. He said again that he'd gotten a wire from Nick and Heath. They were now south of Merced, still tracking Jarrod. There was no more news than that.

After he left, Victoria decided to polish the silver before lunch. Audra understood and left her alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The sheriff came by the next morning with a wire from Nick and Heath, saying they were now at Rock Point, near where Hyatt's brother lived, but they missed Jarrod there. Victoria turned away from him angrily. He knew it wasn't him she was angry with, but he also knew she needed to let loose on someone and it could not be a member of her household.

"Victoria, tomorrow – "

"Oh, hang tomorrow!" Victoria blurted out and immediately regretted her outburst. She sighed, closed her eyes, and reached for the sheriff's hand. "I'm sorry," she said. "You didn't deserve that, Fred. It's not your fault, you've been wonderful through this, but how could they not have caught up to him by now?"

The sheriff said, "If Jarrod's been riding later into the night than they've been, he'll be tough to catch up with."

"Fred, I know that, but saying it out loud or even just thinking it doesn't make me feel better," Victoria said.

"I didn't mean it to sound like they were always losing ground on him, just that he had a good head start and making up that time is gonna be tough."

"That's not any better, Fred," Victoria said.

Sheriff Madden sighed. "I'm not very good at giving you any more hope, am I?"

"No, but it's not your fault." Victoria touched his arm. "And I've been unfair to you. Please forgive me. Have you heard anything from the sheriffs you've wired ahead to?"

"No, not a thing. Jarrod's bound to be steering clear of the law, though."

Victoria thought hard for a moment and then asked, "How long do you think I should give it before I ask Nick and Heath to come home?"

"Victoria, even if you asked them to come home now or a week from now, they wouldn't come," the sheriff said. "You know they're not gonna give up on their brother until they find him."

"No matter what they find," Victoria finished the thought.

Audra came in on the end of the conversation. "They'll find him and he'll be safe," she said flatly.

Victoria and Sheriff Madden looked up at her as she came down the stairs. They didn't know what to say to her. Audra sounded absolutely certain this would all work out, but they weren't so sure.

Victoria smiled and said, "Maybe later today, or tomorrow, there will be better news."

Sheriff Madden nodded. "I'll let you know as soon as I know." Then he gave a slight smile and left the house.

Victoria turned toward Audra and put her arm around her daughter's waist. "I think I'd like to take another ride today," she said. "There's someplace I'd like to show you."

XXXXXXXX

It was a beautiful spot. Victoria had been here before, but until Beth was killed here, she had no idea that it meant so much to Jarrod. Gasping and sobbing, after he carried his dead wife into the house, he told Victoria where they had been, how they had been planning their future, how wonderful it was going to be to build their house here. That was right before he shut down, and he stayed shut down until after the funeral. Then, when Sheriff Madden came to tell them he'd had to let Cass Hyatt go, Jarrod exploded and took off.

Victoria almost had to close her eyes to the beauty here. It brought up the memory of that horrible day. It was mocking her now.

But she said, "This is where Beth was killed, right there by the water. Jarrod loves this place. He brought her here to plan their home, their future – " Victoria's voice closed off.

"Why did you want to come here, Mother?" Audra asked.

"I don't know," Victoria said. "To feel close to Jarrod, maybe. Or maybe so you could see how much he loved Beth. Or both. How could something so horrible have happened in this beautiful place?"

Audra didn't know what to say.

Victoria kept talking and before she knew it, she was letting out a secret. "Jarrod said Beth was shot when she moved in front of him to pick a flower. If she hadn't moved in front of him – " Her voice caught again. "Oh, Audra. If she hadn't moved in front of him, Jarrod would have been the one we buried, not Beth. God forgive me, but part of me is grateful she moved – "

"Mother, that's a natural way to feel," Audra said. "Don't feel guilty about it."

"It's hard not to feel guilty," Victoria said. "I feel horrible that I'm grateful it was Beth and not Jarrod. Of course I feel more protective of my son than of his new wife. I'm just so grateful he's still alive. If he had been killed – "

Audra reached for her mother's hand. "You're feeling what any mother would feel. You have no reason to feel guilty for it."

Victoria looked off into the mountains in the distance, wiping her eyes. "You know, in a way, Jarrod's been hurt more than if he had been the one killed. He's suffering so much, and I haven't been able to do a thing to help him."

"You've done everything you can do for him. You've told me before, there are some loads we can't carry for others, even for people we love."

Victoria finally looked at her daughter. "No matter how many times I say that to you and your brothers, it never seems to sink in for me. I always want to do more when you hurt."

"And that's natural, too," Audra said again. "Would you like to take a walk? Maybe it will help you."

Victoria looked around again. "No, I don't think so. Let's just ride on, back down into the valley."

Victoria turned and headed back toward home. Audra wasn't sure it was a wise decision, but she followed along.

XXXXX

They saw the sheriff riding away from the ranch as they neared the house, and Victoria kicked her horse into a gallop, not wanting to let him get away. Audra took off after her. As she neared him, Victoria began shouting, "Fred! Fred!"

Sheriff Madden heard her and pulled up.

Victoria was beside him in a moment. "Do you have some news?"

The sheriff nodded. "Another wire from Nick and Heath. They're in a town called Pinto now. Jarrod was there yesterday. They're pushing on and hoping to catch up to him tomorrow or the next day."

Victoria sighed, shaking her head. "If they're a day behind, something is going to have to happen to make Jarrod stop or they'll never catch him."

"They'll catch him," Audra said. "I know they will."

"At least we know they're on the right trail," Sheriff Madden said.

"Heath is a good tracker," Audra said.

Victoria nodded, but they could tell that the news was not easing her heart any. Sheriff Madden said, "I have to get back to town, but as soon as I know anything, I'll bring it to you."

"It'll probably be tomorrow before you hear anything else, won't it?" Victoria asked.

"Yes," he said.

Victoria was on the verge of falling apart. Both the sheriff and Audra saw it. The sheriff took her hand, but looked at Audra.

"Audra, I think you'd better get your mother into the house," Sheriff Madden said. "Victoria, do you need some help?"

"No," Victoria said. "No, I'll make it all right. Thanks for coming out, Fred."

"I'll see you tomorrow no matter what," the sheriff said, and then he looked at Audra with pleading eyes.

Audra said, "Come on, Mother, let's get back to the house."

Audra let her mother lead the way, and in only a minute or so, they were letting Ciego take their horses. Victoria was able to get herself into the house but she was dragging now. Every step seemed to be harder to take. Audra got her inside and into the living room, where she sat her down on the settee and then poured her a brandy. "Drink this," she said as she handed it to her mother.

Victoria took the brandy and sipped it. "What time is it, Audra?"

Audra checked the clock. "Just after four," she said and sat down beside her mother.

Victoria sighed. "I'm sorry I'm turning into such a problem for you, Audra."

Audra smiled. "You're no problem, Mother. Everything will be all right, tomorrow or the next day. You'll see."

Victoria gave her daughter a little smile and a kiss on the cheek. "I hope so."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Victoria barely picked at her food at dinner, but the brandy she'd had was making her tired, so she went to bed early. She fell asleep fairly quickly, but woke up long before the sun came up. She couldn't settle down again, so she gathered herself together and came downstairs just as Silas was getting up and lighting the lamps in the living room.

"Mrs. Barkley!" Silas said, smiling. "You're up awful early."

"So are you, Silas," Victoria said as she reached the foyer.

Silas chuckled. "This is the time I always been gettin' up these days, Mrs. Barkley. I'm ahead of you all by a good hour so's I can get the baking done."

Victoria managed a bit of a smile. "Silas, whatever Nick is paying you, it isn't enough. Remind me to have a talk with him when he gets home."

"I'll have coffee ready in half an hour or so, Mrs. Barkley. Will you have some?"

"Please. In the living room."

"Certainly, Mrs. Barkley."

Silas went back into the kitchen while Victoria went to the living room. She tried to sit down and relax, but she couldn't do it. She could only pace around the room, until finally she was so tired she sat down.

"Dear God, let it be today," she said out loud. "Let them find him today. I don't know how much more of this I can stand."

She picked up a book and tried to read, but she couldn't concentrate, so instead she picked up the embroidery she had been working on. It immediately made her remember that Beth had been working on something when she died. She wondered where it was, but didn't see it around the settee anywhere. It must have been in her and Jarrod's room. She sighed and continued with her own work.

The morning passed far too slowly. Silas brought coffee and an hour or so later and said breakfast was ready. Audra came down shortly after that, and as they ate, Audra asked Victoria if she wanted to go riding again, but today Victoria wasn't up to it. Audra stayed with her, despite Victoria telling her it was all right for her to run along. Together, they worked on embroidery projects and did not talk much.

They took lunch in the garden and were there when the sheriff came with Nick and Heath's latest wire. It was the same as always. They still had not found Jarrod but were still following him. The sheriff promised he'd come again the next day, whether he'd heard from Nick and Heath or not.

After he left, Victoria took to her bed for a nap. She did not get up for the rest of the afternoon.

Audra was worried sick. She looked in on her mother several times to find her still sleeping. She suspected her mother was tired from her failure to sleep the night before, but she was afraid a mental illness was sinking in, too. Audra fought the panic that was starting to rise up in her. When she let her thoughts get away from her, she was afraid that everyone in her family was going to be destroyed by this, maybe even more devastated than when her father had been killed. This day after day grinding on them, waiting for something from Nick and Heath that said the searching was over and that Jarrod was all right, the good news that never came - Audra watched what it was doing to her mother and felt powerless to do anything about it. All she could do was say her own prayer for her mother as well as her brothers.

Victoria did not wake up until well after Audra had finished dinner, but when she came down, Silas still had some food warm for her. She ate better than she had the evening before, and Audra was heartened. Afterward, they continued to work on their embroidery until Audra decided to go to bed.

"Since I slept all day, I'm just not tired yet," Victoria said. "You go on. I'll be up in a couple hours."

Audra kissed her. "Maybe you should get Silas to make you some warm milk."

"That's a good idea," Victoria said, and she walked to the stairs with Audra. She bid her a good night there and went into the kitchen.

Silas was just finishing his clean-up of the kitchen when she came in. "Mrs. Barkley! Can I get you anything?"

"Some warm milk would be good, Silas," Victoria said and sat down at the kitchen table.

Silas set about warming some milk for both of them. He would never tell Victoria, but he was having trouble sleeping himself. He had watched Jarrod grow up from a boy of about 10 to the man he'd become. Of course he was worried, but Mrs. Barkley didn't need another worried face around here. He kept it to himself.

"Will you have anything to eat, Mrs. Barkley?" Silas asked.

"No, thank you, Silas, just the milk," Victoria said.

Since the stove was still hot, it didn't take long for the milk to warm up. Silas poured two cups and placed one before Victoria as he sat down with her.

Victoria sipped the milk and smiled. "This might just do the trick tonight, Silas."

"I hope so, ma'am," Silas said. "I know you didn't sleep too well last night."

"To put it mildly," Victoria said. "When those boys get home I may just box somebody's ears."

Silas chuckled. "That might not be a bad idea, Mrs. Barkley," he said. "But I suspect you'll just hug him instead."

"This is so unlike him, Silas. I'm not sure how we'll bring him back around to the man he was."

"Mrs. Barkley – pardon my sayin' it this way, but he ain't never gonna be exactly the man he was."

Victoria looked up at the houseman.

"He's gonna learn lessons from this," Silas said. "They're gonna change him. I expect it'll be more for the good than the bad, but what's happenin' to him now will make a different man outta him. He'll be a man you can be proud of again, but he'll change. He can't help but change."

"I think we'll all be changing, Silas," Victoria said. "I just pray that tomorrow will be the day they find him and however we change, we can start facing it."

XXXXXX

The next day brought a soft, soaking rain to the ranch that set in late in the morning and kept up until late afternoon. It seemed appropriate, Victoria thought. Like tears falling from heaven. Oh, she knew that wasn't really so, but she liked to think that somewhere, some greater power was thinking of her sons and was feeling for her as she thought about them. This had to be the day they found him. This nightmare had to end today.

Silas kept lamps lit in the house all day. Victoria and Audra both found the concentration to read for a change, and again, Victoria decided to nap. She woke up at about four in the afternoon, and immediately realized she hadn't seen Sheriff Madden yet today. She hurried downstairs.

Audra was still reading in the living room.

"Audra!" Victoria called, and Audra looked up. "Audra, has the sheriff been here yet today?"

"No, Mother, not yet," Audra said.

Victoria stood perplexed. "The sheriff said he'd come, no matter what."

Audra put her book aside. "I'm sure he'll be here before long. Maybe it's a good sign he isn't here yet. Maybe he'll bring good news."

Victoria came into the living room and poured herself some sherry. She brought it to the settee and sat down beside Audra. "Maybe something's just happened in town to keep him busy," Victoria said. "Somehow, weather like this seems to bring the grouchiness out in people."

Audra chuckled. "You're right. Even the orphans are miserable."

Victoria picked up her embroidery and set to work again, occasionally sipping her sherry, while Audra went back to her book. About an hour later, there came a knock on the door, and Victoria put her things aside and ran to it before Silas could make it in from the kitchen.

It was the sheriff. He was smiling.

"What?" Victoria asked.

Sheriff Madden removed his hat but tried not to get water on anyone else. "Got a wire from Nick and Heath, from Rimfire. They found Jarrod. He's been hurt but he's all right, and they'll be coming home. Hyatt confessed to killing Beth and he's in jail."

Victoria dissolved in tears. Audra had come up behind her, and she turned into her daugher's arms. Audra was bursting with smiles.

The sheriff continued. "Wire said they'd be a week to ten days coming home. I expect Jarrod needs some rest."

"Did they say what happened to him?" Victoria asked.

"No," the sheriff said. "I can wire back and get more information if you want."

"Please," Victoria said. "And Fred, thank you so much. You've been wonderful through all this."

"No thanks needed, Victoria. Jarrod and I have become good friends over the years, working on different cases together. I'm just happy he's all right. I'll head on back to town and wire Nick and Heath. Be back out as soon as I know more."

The sheriff nodded, put his hat back on and went out.

"I knew everything would be all right!" Audra said.

Behind her, Silas was all smiles, too.

Victoria pulled away from her daughter and wiped her eyes. "I think I could use another sherry."

Silas said, "I'll pour one for you right away, Mrs. Barkley, and I'll get dinner started, too. I think maybe your appetite is back."

Victoria laughed for the first time in days.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Epilogue

The sheriff came back just after eight o'clock. The rain had stopped in time for the sun to set, so the sky was still light with beautiful colors even though the sun had slipped away. Sheriff Madden took his hat off – not dripping water anymore – and smiled.

"I heard back again from Heath," he said. "Jarrod's had a bullet wound to the side of his head, but it's not serious. Mainly he's just run himself into the ground and needs a couple days' rest. Heath and Nick are fine."

Victoria smiled and went a little limp in relief. "Thank you, Fred." Then she turned serious. "What about Hyatt? Will he be brought back here?"

"I expect so, though I haven't heard from the sheriff in Rimfire," Sheriff Madden said. "You never know about these things. They may just show up with him."

"When you learn anything, will you let me know?"

The sheriff nodded. "I'll let you know anything I find out."

It was two days later the sheriff came back with news that Victoria's sons were heading home and would wire ahead again when they could. Every day after that, they wired ahead. As they got closer, the sheriff got word that marshals would be bringing Hyatt into Stockton a few days after the Barkley men were back.

The sheriff was true to his word and kept Victoria up to date on her sons' progression home. Then, about five days after they left Rimfire, they appeared on the ridge above the house and came down.

When they arrived in the stableyard, Ciego took their horses, saying, "Welcome home, Senor Jarrod." Victoria didn't hear Jarrod reply. She only saw her sons drag themselves wearily toward the house, dirty and unshaven and incredibly tired. They never looked better to her eyes.

Victoria embraced them all, one by one. Nick whispered, "We made it," wearily in her ear as she held him. As she turned to Heath and took him in her arms, he said, "He's gonna be all right, don't worry."

Audra embraced them as well, but no words passed between them. They just hugged her and waited for their oldest brother.

Jarrod was dragging the most, the bandage around his head dirty and carrying a browned bloodstain. He didn't even look up as he came toward them and his mother took him in her arms. He said nothing. Victoria let him go, and he let Audra embrace him without a word.

Nick said, "Come on, Pappy, we better get you cleaned up and settled in."

Jarrod led the way up the stairs, his brothers just behind him in case he stumbled, but he made it with just a steadying hand from Heath at the top. Audra followed them all, and Victoria knew she would be there to help them get Jarrod settled. She let them all go together, and her heart never felt so light and happy.

They were together, her children, all home and safe, if damaged. It was obvious already that Silas had been right. Jarrod would be changed, and the rest of them would be changed, too. Over the next few days and even longer, they would all be grappling with the fallout from the last couple weeks. Victoria had no idea yet how bad the fallout would be. The details of what happened out there were yet to come out, but Victoria knew, from her own experience in life, that Jarrod would probably never heal completely. Maybe none of them would. For now, though, he was home. They were all home and together again. The waiting was over.

"Thank you, dear Lord. Thank you," Victoria said quietly, and smiled.

The End


End file.
